hm, this is my first time writing a blog.
I don't know why i started but somehow i feel that i need to put my thoughts on words rather than keeping them all to myself. Here goes..
Today I met her at the library steps after three days I did something I've never done in my entire life before face to face and boy I still feel so stupid for doing so.
I don't know why i froze and i literally said "oh shit!" I did not move at all.
She saw me, gave me a smile and continued walking down..i was still standing there!!! wtf!
She really looked so sweet, not only today, but every time when I see her I feel that she looks better by the day (yeah right nicky, dumb ass! h-a-h-a!)
I told myself that after three days and still there wasn't any reply I should give up for good...but I can't. I really don't understand why and it wont go away..poor me
Sometimes I feel sick inside and I've been feeling sick for almost a year for keeping it inside and not telling.
Somehow I felt a little relieved after telling and while I was driving back to my condo I started to feel stupid for the things I said to her and what I've been keeping all these while.
I remember the very first day she spoke to me which was a year ago.
She said "Jou sann.." (in canto.)
Being the usual me in the morning a little bad tempered and blur I looked up as she was standing right in front of me.
I was like "oh damn, its that pretty girl that I wanted to know and now she's the one saying Hi to me?! wtf..people saying Hi to you and you're still hoping for Dr (my good buddie's nickname) to intro her to you?!! knnccb.."
then doing some oscar winning performance I said "oh, good morning, so "ngam" wan.. " geezz..how lame was that?!
Anyway, after that day I always got up the same time and went down hoping to see her again day after day. some how i never got to stand close to her anymore..rats..
I considered last year literally a blast for me cause I got to know her and sometimes we hang out at night just chatting with each other. I really miss those nights when I got to tease her *sigh
oh well, I can't blame myself for being stupid can I? guess i can!!! STUPID!! ><"
Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, why the hell am I still bragging about this? I should stop already! It's been a year!!
Somehow some things are just not meant to be..
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